A Night Out On The Town
by stoner-blake
Summary: Glynda and Ozpin meet to discuss the events that happened overnight after one Jaune Arc was mistakenly told he was expelled. (one shot, slightly crack piece)


"So, Jaune Arc was mistakenly expelled last night."

After uttering the statement, Ozpin took a sip from his mug, sparing a glance over the rim to where Goodwitch was standing in front of his desk. It was rare to see her look guilty over something that she had done, but yesterday's mistake had been one of the few things she definitely regretted. And the way she stood in his office, one hand reaching over to her other side to lightly grasp her other arm, and her eyes fixed on a point in the wall behind and to the left of Ozpin instead of on the man talking to her, clearly indicated such.

"Yes, that is the short of it." She admitted reluctantly, briefly shifting her gaze onto him. "...I misread the list of students that were to be expelled over the Beowulf incident." Unfortunately, one of those students that had been responsible for letting loose an actual Beowulf in the auditorium had their name as Juane. That, and trying to read the sheet of those she had to kick out at day's end without her glasses had resulted in the mistake.

"Okay." Another ship from his mug. "What happened to him afterwards?" Pulling out her scroll from her belt, Glynda opened up the holo-screen inside of it, flicking to a block of text.

"Well, from the reports I got from his team mates, he promptly went to their room, gathered up his things, and left. All while crying and wailing." She read off the screen, not at all surprised. "He departed on the last airship down to Vale for the night." Which had needed a serious hose down to its interior afterwards. It appears that Mr Arc was not much good with flying.

"From there, it seems that he took up temporary lodging at a bar slash hotel called the... the Drunken Duck, I believe. And that's the last thing that we have done for certain that happened between then, and this morning when he was found passed out in the middle of main street, clutching a plastic flamingo like a teddy bear, confetti sprayed around him, and reeking of alcohol."

"I see." Ozpin peered down at his mug. Hmm, he'd need a refill soon. "So we're guessing that he found a way to get around being a minor and decided to spend the night getting as drunk as possible before heading home?"

A nod met his question. "And about the other incidents that happened around town that night? Have any links been made between Jaune's stay and them?"

"Well, they still don't have any answers for how anyone could have managed to climb up the giant bronzed statue of the town's founder, stick a plastic singing bass onto its face like a moustache, and leave it singing 'Don't Worry, Be Happy' the whole night without being seen during all of it." Glynda spoke again, having flicked over from the accounts of team JNPR to a copy of the newspaper that had come out at noon. "Same for the group of wanted thugs who were found unconscious with a lot of fish lying around them. Although they have figured out by now that the salmon came from a local seafood market that was supposed to open up in the morning, but were forced to remain closed when a clown car was found inside the area meant for stalls."

"What about the case of the water in the park's fountain being replaced with coffee?" Ozpin asked, somewhat amused by the restrained look of incredulity at what had been printed in front of her eyes. Over the many years that he had been headmaster of Beacon academy, a school meant to fine tune the skills of future Huntsmen and Huntresses, kids that held extraordinary powers and insane levels of skill with the craziest combinations of weapons, he had seen more than his fair share of unbelievable stunts pulled by students. Glynda, on the other hand, never seemed to quite get over what lengths those stunts, accidental or not, would go to.

"Well, they've managed to change it back to normal ground water at least." She continued listing off what the article spoke about. "Not before having to forcibly shoo away a crowd of people trying to drink it though." No doubt professor Oobleck would have been among them if news had hit Beacon a few hours before it actually had.

"Good." Pulling the cup up to his mouth once more, Ozpin downed the rest of his rapidly cooling drink, standing up in one smooth motion as it disappeared down his throat to stride slowly towards Goodwitch. "Well, no serious harm was done, so I don't think there's any need to punish him for what he _might _have done. I think the scare of thinking he'd been expelled would be enough for him. And they did catch the tiger that wound up in the town hall, right?"

"Yes sir. And removed the party hat from its head." She confirmed, still in disbelief over what could happen in one night that a student was let loose and given alcohol.

"Then there's nothing more to be said, especially with no concrete evidence that a Beacon student could have accomplished all of that. For all we know, his night could have taken a very different turn of events than what was reported in the newspaper." Ozpin shrugged his shoulders, the hint of a smile on his face the only sign of how amused by all this he was.

"All we do know for certain, was the bar he went to, that he got drunk, wound up sleeping in the street with a flamingo ornament, and had the time during that to get a tattoo of an Ursa on his lower back." That they had found after a brief medical check once he had been dragged back to school, half-awake, suffering from the mother of all hangovers, and with no memories of the night before after entering the Drunken Duck. He walked to the door, pausing only when it was halfway open to look back at her. "...Is there anything else we need to discuss?"

"...No, that's it." Glynda conceded. She didn't like what had happened, but there was nothing that she, or they, could do anything about now except for damage control. Especially as she was at least partly responsible for what had happened.

"Good." And just like that, he was gone, off to the staff kitchen in search of some more cocoa to put into his mug. Glynda sighed. If only she had settled for a teaching position in a military school like Signal instead of following that man here. Least then she wouldn't have to deal with things like students hiding Beowulf puppies in their closets, and making Dust body paint concoctions that would glow and flash like an entire rave had been painted onto their skin. Comfortable teaching position, my ass!

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